


There could have been two

by Mertrash



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Coping, Depression, Living with Regret, M/M, Reflecting on things you just can't change, Wondering what went wrong along the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-13 22:25:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13580208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertrash/pseuds/Mertrash
Summary: "How can you say something like that?"Looking back, it was you who wasn't being sympathetic to it all. That flash of disbelief on your face as you'd looked at him, wounded by his words, lips agape with a harsh gaze-- he'd taken one look at you, and maybe he'd decided it then, at that very moment.No, hehad.





	There could have been two

**Author's Note:**

> :(

Sometimes when you look back, you wonder how it all happened. When all was said and done you know there was nothing you could have done, the moment he sacrificed himself was the moment where he began, and ultimately, ended.    
  
"I'm not you, at least, not anymore." Were the cold words he'd blown you off with upon confrontation, following seconds later with a quiet, "I don't matter anymore, my job here? It's finished and there's one too many of us, wouldn't you say?" That tone he'd spoken with was something you didn't understand at that very second. Upon thinking of it now your chest began to constrain, the corners of your vision turning to static and it hurt, your chest burns, everything burns and---   
  
His voice had been so, so, strangled. You hadn't noticed it then but looking back it was painfully clear.   
  
It made you wonder if you were going blind, or maybe instead, oblivious to your own feelings. After all, he was you, wasn't he? Who better to understand him than yourself?   
  
"Just because it's over doesn't mean you have to leave, like, technically it isn't even over yet? You can still help out, man, we're gonna need all the help we can get when we fight--" Your attempt at comforting him, not that you'd call it that now, seemed to only make things worse.   
  
Those soft feathers had started to ruffle and those tangerine wings were raising.    
  
"Is that all I am, Dave? Help? Don't worry, I think you'll all do just fine, and if you don't?"   
  
Was that the exact moment he'd snapped? You.. couldn't remember.    
  
"I'll just be back again in the next shit-stained session, it'll all be fine. Listen, I'm not like you-- of course, I am, but I don't want to fight anymore." There it was again, that voice you'd only noticed after it all, the way his gaze lowered to avoid your own, that absolutely defeated look he wore. There was something more to that last bit, "I don't want to fight anymore," but what could it have meant to you? You had your own problems with the bullshit principle of being a 'Hero' but this, this was different.   
  
That look was something you'd never experienced, but, how? What had the two of you not encountered together? Had it been an event on the ship? You knew of the breakup from his timeline but this, this was not the look of a broken heart but rather something deeper.   
  
What kind of scar was deeper than the cut of a broken heart? Was he over that?   
  
"No, dude, you know I didn't mean it like that-- you're more than just help, you're a bro, and I--" a visible flinch "--I just want to help you out, okay? We're in this together, and don't you.. don't you care? About this session? I don't know what all happened in your old session except what you've told me but aren't we the same people? I'm still Dave, John is still him, Jade and Rose are still the same people we both knew, how can you.." you severed everything you'd had with him right then and there.   
  
"How can you say something like that?"   
  
Looking back, it was you who wasn't being sympathetic to it all. That flash of disbelief on your face as you'd looked at him, wounded by his words, lips agape with a harsh gaze-- he'd taken one look at you, and maybe he'd decided it then, at that very moment.

No, he had.   
  
"I'm sorry, Dave," he'd started, taking a deep breath before looking directly at you, "I can't do this anymore. You tried, right? You of all people gotta know when it's a little too late for a guy, eh?" Those wings lifted once again but this time it was for flight, already raising off the ground, leaving your cape flapping and your eyes wide, staring at him in disbelief.   
  
You'd told yourself you wouldn't let it end like that, you had lifted yourself off the ground, prepared to follow him, you wouldn't let him end it like this---   
  
"You have somewhere you need to be, right? People who need you, who depend on you, should you really be doing this? When they're going to need you most?"   
  
That was the last you'd seen of him. Maybe, if you had known that, you would have flown after him despite the possible consequences-- but, thinking back, weren't you aware of it? That you'd never see him again if you let him slip away right then and there?   
  
There was nothing you could have done, you tell yourself. If you had gone after him everything would have gone to tell back with the others, he was right, they needed you.    
  
Didn't he need you, too?   
  
Sometimes you thought about it all through his eyes but even then, you never found yourself doing what he did. There was enough room for the both of you, wasn't there? You could envision it now, yourself as him, hanging out with the others even though there was another Dave, there could be two Daves, you could co-exist.   
  
You had been the same person once upon a time, yet, how had you grown so far apart?    
  
"There could have been two," you mutter to yourself, staring out into the sky that'd consumed him.   
_  
"There could have been two." _

**Author's Note:**

> im not good at tags,, hnnng,,
> 
> Hello I wrote this all at once in an attempt to prove that I can and will write stuff even though my motivation is dying lately. If it's sloppy or secretly has a ton of mistakes i?? didn't notice?? whoops--- it's because wow I wrote this all at once. I gotta,, fatten this account up somehow,,, what better way then some short vague sad dave/davesprite iN 2018 LMAO fuckin' incredible


End file.
